


Little Lambkin, My Sweet Ladybug

by fromthedepthsofinsanity



Series: Pregnancy Nonsense [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, First Born Child, Instant Love, New Daddy, No Plot/Plotless, Post-Childbirth, Post-Game, Post-Trespasser, father-daughter bonding, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5451578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthedepthsofinsanity/pseuds/fromthedepthsofinsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen wishes he was more worried about how Evelyn was doing, but the tiny bundle in his arms commands all of his attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Lambkin, My Sweet Ladybug

From chaos to silence, smothering, peaceful, worrisome silence. 

It seemed like years ago that Cullen hovered and paced outside the bedroom he shared with Evelyn, listened to his sister try to calm him with words that were too far away to be anything other than an echo, and watched transfixed as his nephew swung his legs back and forth over the edge of the bench he shared with him. Cullen should have been concerned with the uncontrolled amount of profanity his nephew was being subjected to, but he couldn't really bring himself to care. Try as his sister might, her son would always show back up, and he was bound to hear it sometime anyway. 

And Evelyn had been a terror. When had she not? At the Conclave, with the Mages, with the Wardens, toward Corypheus, she had been always taken the route most likely to rile the rest of the world. Her midwives had been on the receiving end of her almighty onslaught for hours. Such is the first, they had said with a giggle after everything was said and done. Evelyn was still a woman, even if Inquisitor was tagged on; she was still a woman who chose to feel the pain of labor and the all-consuming relief that came with her first born's wail. She was still a woman that could forget all the hurt immediately afterwards as relief flooded her and experience exhaustion. 

It should have worried Cullen more. He keenly remembered feeling something frightful when her screams suddenly stopped. The world held its breath for far too long, and Cullen stood outside the door separating him and his wife and debated on whether or not he should bust it down and see for himself exactly what had happened to cause her silence. But then, a cough and a sharp cry, a declaration of being here and real and not just a thing he knew was there and couldn't see, and the world started again. Evelyn had sobbed and said things. He didn't remember her words, only the sound of her voice as she cooed and whimpered and praised. Mia had patted him and said more things. But it was all lost. 

And it was nearly gone forever when Evelyn finally gave into sleep, still sweaty and pale, and a midwife set the tiniest of bundles in his arms. 

"Mind her head," She had told him, "And don't be so stiff, love. Babies are very resilient. You won't break her." 

_Her_. A girl. Mia had made the right guess.  

He was left alone with her. From chaos to silence, just as he said. The slightest misstep would break the fragile glass keeping the peace. It took all of what Cullen had to smoothly, quietly leave Evelyn in the room with the heavy curtains drawn so she could continue to rest. It took even longer for him to pull the door shut to keep it from creaking while he balanced his sleeping newborn in his arm. It was exhausting moving so slow, to try to keep from jostling, to be so focused and aware of every little thing he did when he wouldn't have spared a thought any other time. 

Cullen had held children before. He did have two younger siblings after all, but they were just that, siblings. She was different. She was his first. She was all Evelyn and all him and just the sweetest thing to ever grace him with her presence. Beautiful didn't even begin to describe her. To any other person, she would be terribly ugly, as all newborns are, but to him, he could see past all that angry pink flesh, chubbiness in odd places, and many, many wrinkles and ick to their shared nose and ear shapes, to Evelyn's stolen lips and hair color, and to the happy combination of forehead and eye design. 

He wished she would open her eyes, just so he could see the color, but he knew it would be impossible to tell this early. They would still be a stormy blue; something he secretly hoped she kept. Though, he wouldn't complain if they turned into a fiery amber to rival her mothers, or a sugary sweet gold like his. He would just have to be patient; he thought he could possibly do that if he put his mind to it. 

He sat in the hall on the same bench he had occupied while waiting for her. His index finger traced the the pudgy roundness of her cheek, and she leaned into it, mouth open on instinct and eager. He'd have to disappoint. His finger was no nipple, and he had no milk to give. 

"I'm sorry, Little Lady," He whispered. He could barely hear himself speak, "I shouldn't tease you." 

Her lips puckered as she sucked on her own tongue, and her dusty eyebrows furrowed. Not even two hours old and she had problems. As if there was ever any doubt that she wouldn't immediately have them. Daughter to the Inquisitor and Commander of the Inquisition Army, spawn of two great goods against many evils and injustices, gift from the Maker and his Bride, she would face many challenges and pass them all with flying colors. 

Even if she didn't, even if she failed every little thing she attempted, she wouldn't be without his love. Her worth wasn't, couldn't be, measured in her potential or beauty or failure or ability because none of it mattered. He would make sure her happiness didn't teeter on the many, many eyes that would be watching in wait. Being what she was wouldn't be a sentence. He would make sure. 

"You'll be able to eat soon. Mama needs her rest. It was hard work getting you here," He smiled, "I bet she'd do it a million times more for you. I'll have to find some way to thank her." 

Of course, she didn't reply. Her little face only screwed up again in displeasure as she was pulled from her fulfilling sleep to the waking world. It was blurry and confusing and not at all what she was used to, but she heard a voice she recognized and that was enough. 

Cullen stared, waiting with a held breath for the wailing to begin. He hadn't anyone around to feed her; she must be hungry after her ordeal. He didn't want to have to wake Evelyn. Not enough time had passed for a suitable nap. But she didn't cry, only stared back, taking in the fuzzy creature holding her. 

"Hello, Ladybug," He spoke hesitantly, and she seemed to perk up at the sound, "It's nice to meet you finally. We've been waiting for you for a long time." 

A pause. He was expecting a cry, a coo, anything, but she was quiet and attentive. 

"Are you," He licked his lips, "Are you happy to meet me? I talked to you all the time. Do you know who I am?" 

Her eyes shut in a slow blink. 

"I guess you wouldn't. I bet you know your mama though. You'd know her anywhere," He smiled and adjusted her in his arms, "It makes me a little jealous, but just a tiny bit. She'll be jealous that I took your first conversation, so it'll even out just fine." 

He laughed lightly, and her teeny toes flexed and curled against the fluffy blanket warming her. 

"I wish I knew what to call you. Your mama and I didn't really decide on a name. Any names really," He chuckled at that, "We'd talk about it and somehow end up getting off track, losing ourselves in one another, being lazy together, and completely forget what we started talking about in the first place. We'd do the same thing the next day. There's not much to do when the world is peaceful. No wars to fight except with each other, and I have to admit, we don't really do that well. We'll start to argue, you see, and then she'll crack a joke because she can't stand the tension. I'll laugh despite myself, and that's it. She wins, just like always.

"Well, according to her,  _we_ win. Maybe I should get her on that, just to see what she does. I'll make sure I stay as stern as possible. No wiggle room allowed. The moment you let her know she's under your skin, that's it. Might as well wave the white flag, or laugh, or both. I hope you pick up that bad habit, Little Lamb. 

"See? She's not even here to chime in and she's gotten me off track. I think she said she liked Holly. What do you think? Are you a Holly?" 

Her eyes hadn't opened back up, and her breathing fanned out. Cullen didn't mind. He continued to talk with her. 

"Holly Rutherford. I like it. It's got a nice ring. I suppose I should just lay down my weapons this time, show her my surrender before she rips it out of me. After all, I don't think she's gotten to name anything other than that damned horse she's had with her since the Hinterlands," Cullen rolled his eyes, " _Neighcee_. What an awful name. What was she thinking? It's not even a mare! Not like it knows that, but really. 

"Do you like Holly? Would you mind if we called you that? Listen to me. I'm going in circles now as I run out of things to say.

He nodded, "Ah, you know, your cousin begged me to let him hold you, and I broke his heart when I told him no. He can hold you later. You're all mine for now. Though, I can't blame him. I know he already loves you. Everyone will. My siblings, my mother and father, all their grandchildren and relatives, they'll adore you. 

"Let's not forget Evelyn's brood, and our friends," Cullen pursed his lips, "Maybe we'll wait just a little longer for you to meet them, Holly. They're an odd bunch, and I don't want Bull to frighten you. Or Sera for that matter. Or... Cole. Or, ah, Evelyn knows some frightening people no matter how you look at it. Dorian and Varric probably won't scare you, but I'm sure I'd never get you back if I handed you over to either. Varric would make you part of a tale somehow, go on some grand adventure with Hawke no doubt. And Dorian, well, he worries me the most. He'd love you instantly and sweep you away, and I'd never see you again. I can imagine the posters, 'Inquisitor's First Born Taken by a Tevinter Magister!' It would be the best publicity. 

"Evelyn wouldn't help the issue. She would probably encourage it. She'd give you over to him and tell him 'Go on. It'll give everyone something to talk about!' We'd have to travel all the way to the Imperium to get you back, no doubt spend more than a few days lounging about and catching up, before finally coming back and dispelling the frenzy your mother once again whipped up," Cullen grinned, "I sound like I'm blaming her for everything. Don't misunderstand. Your mother is a miracle worker and a hero. She just doesn't help her own case very often. It's one of the very many reasons why I fell in love with her. She's spunky, to say the least. 

"You wouldn't mind a trip to Tevinter, would you? I hear it's very warm year round. Good for babies. Not that you care either way, hm? As long as you can sleep and eat, you'll be content anywhere. Ah, the life of an infant." 

He traced her tiny first with the pad of his finger, and instinctively it opened and wrapped tightly around the digit with surprising strength. Her sharp nails bit near-painfully into his skin, but couldn't break through his sword-calloused flesh. The silence was back again, but carried not an echo of the previous fright and confusion. It was cool and calm, collected and refreshing. It allowed him to stare without worry and relax into his seat. It brought with it a veil, shielding him from the goings-on about him. He didn't notice the murmuring coming from the room where Evelyn dozed; he didn't notice the peering eyes peeking around the corner to check on him; he didn't even notice his sister and her husband calling his name, asking him questions, and finally leaving him be to his contentment. 

All his focus was on the sleeping child in his arms. She was the center of his universe, the center of every universe, as she should very well be, and Cullen was lost somewhere in her orbit. 

**Author's Note:**

> This desperately needed to be done. I am a sucker for good men with babies.


End file.
